CURRICULUM VITAE — THE ORACLE
PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL — SEER OF SEERS, SAGE OF SAGES
Prognosticator of Prognosticators — Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney, PA
YEARS OF SERVICE140+
ACCURACY RATE100% (cosmic certainty)
LANGUAGESGroundhogese (fluent), English (none)
SHADOW PREDICTIONS109
NO-SHADOW PREDICTIONS20
PUBLIC OFFICIALS BITTENMultiple
OFFSPRING2 (disowned)
SECRET TO LONGEVITYGroundhog Punch (vodka, milk, eggs, OJ)
References available upon request. The Oracle does not provide references.