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INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING: FALSE PROPHETS
KNOWN PRETENDERS & UNAUTHORIZED WEATHER ORACLES — THREAT LEVEL: LOW
CHUCKNew York City
Bit Mayor Bloomberg. Replacement also bit someone.
CHUCKLESConnecticut
Arrest warrant issued for inaccurate prediction.
BUFFALO BERTBuffalo, NY
Rigged. Always sees shadow. Suspected union ties.
POTOMAC PHILWashington, DC
Taxidermied. Predicts legislative gridlock.
CASIMIRCleveland, OH
A cat. Eats pierogies. Unrelated to weather.
STUMPTOWN FILPortland, OR
A beaver. Species mismatch flagged.
MELNew Jersey
Deceased. Governor vetoed proposed replacement.
All listed oracles operate without Inner Circle authorization. Predictions are non-binding.
The Oracle recognizes none of thesegroundhogeday.com